When a Poor Single Woman Must Carry Everything Alone

When a Poor Single Woman Must Carry Everything Alone

by Usfia Usman

    

(Ilustration image)

Poor single women are often the most overlooked group in society. They are seen as immature, unserious about life, and unfit to handle important matters. Yet silently, they carry the heaviest burdens.

Because their bodies are small, because they walk alone, because they have no husband or children, they are often spoken to like children—as if they haven’t earned the right to talk about life’s weight.

But once their age is revealed—say, past thirty—

the comments shift instantly:

 “Oh, you’re already that old?”

“Why aren’t you married yet?”

“You’re over the age limit for this program.”

They are never “just right.”

Too young to be taken seriously,

too old to be included.

What hurts more is the assumption that they have no burdens.

In reality, many of them live solely on their own labor. They work side jobs, skip meals, and still send money home to aging parents. They pay rent alone. No one fills in when they get sick.

No insurance. No backup.

Unlike married women—often seen as having “a life of their own”—

these single women are rarely respected by systems or surroundings.

Having children, a husband, and a household gives you social status.

But not all married women are financially independent either.

Ironically, the ones who belittle poor single women are often fellow women.

Married women—sometimes younger—feel their lives are harder because of children.

They forget:

Single women also have people to care for.

Not babies,

but parents with wrinkles, with weak knees,

who still call them every few days just to say, “Take care of yourself.”

And that burden cannot be shared.

Poor single women do it all alone—

with their own time, their own money, and no one to lean on.

Still, they are seen as

“not ready,”

“still lucky to be free,”

“living lighter lives.”

They don’t qualify for social programs.

They miss scholarship opportunities—too old, they say.

They’re not listed as heads of households—because they’re unmarried.

Yet the weight they carry is often heavier.

Burdens aren’t always children.

Sometimes they come as fear—

fear of losing a parent,

guilt for not being able to give more,

anxiety about an uncertain future with no safety net.

But poor single women are rarely seen as carrying any of that.

Maturity doesn’t always come with marriage.

Sometimes, it comes from a woman who survives with nothing—

no partner, no security—

and still finds the strength

to care for everyone around her.

Indonesia versi